Thursday, November 20

i knew it was permanent
i was wrong
when I referred to it as temporary.

You've always had a way
of biting your tongue when i hurt you.
Of hushing when i caught you
breaking me
after i broke you.
there have been
so many hours past
what we once were.
past the relationships we once knew...
a little more each time.

We would leave,
each monday
and some fridays
at eleven twenty four.
Pretend that's what was meant
and have the time of our lives.
I can't remember what we read in those textbooks
Shakespeare's sonnets escape me.

But I remember sharing nachos
and slurpees at the pond.
and I remember your soccer games
and helping you find your keys.
As time ticked closer to three twenty
we'd speed back
still exhausted from wrestling
or flying.
face cleaner from crying.
and those deep red scratches.

we'd sip punch and sit on sofas and fall
asleep the way we were
and the way we were meant to be.

days full of those little things
we'd promise
and never fully achieve.
some of those slow and lowly plans we'd 
for our life of bohemia
remember weddings in Tobago?
holding addison and eden?

I nearly broke down when I met him in real life
paid his mother a small compliment
then took my 15.
saying it aloud did it no justice.
because no one else knew that he was, 
in part mine
and yours.

and I know that no one will understand the 
fullness of this but you
if you even check 
blinded by excuses before
I spend shallow moments
like these 
at 2:25 wondering
if you remember, too.

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